The King:
Otherwise known as Tyrannosaurus Rex, T. Rex or just plain Rex (that last is probably only recommended if you are on friendly terms with Rex. So basically if you are one Dr. A. Grant. Or me.)
Identifying Features:
With the exception of his size and sheer ugliness, Rex is probably best identified by his teeny tiny useless arms. So if you come across one, please resist the temptation to point at giggle at the flailing limbs, as this will only aggravate Rex. Just remember that while his arms are hilariously retarded, his teeth are not.
What to do if, while you are minding your won business on an African Jungle Safari, Rex bursts into the clearing and heads straight towards you:
DO NOT mock the arms. DO NOT run. The best mode of action here would be for you to stand perfectly still and silent, while an agile member of your troupe climbs a tree behind Rex, launches him/herself onto Rex's back (don't panic, its not like he's going to be able to reach over and take them off), and uses a handy piece of sturdy cloth (a safari vest seems a good option here) to blindfold Rex. Since Rex is incapable of hunting if he cannot see, this will effectively render him incapacitated, leaving you and your friends free to point and giggle to your heart's desire. And then run. And whatever you do, never attempt to escape from Rex by taking refuge in a toilet. That will only end in tears. And pieces.
Otherwise known as Tyrannosaurus Rex, T. Rex or just plain Rex (that last is probably only recommended if you are on friendly terms with Rex. So basically if you are one Dr. A. Grant. Or me.)
Identifying Features:
With the exception of his size and sheer ugliness, Rex is probably best identified by his teeny tiny useless arms. So if you come across one, please resist the temptation to point at giggle at the flailing limbs, as this will only aggravate Rex. Just remember that while his arms are hilariously retarded, his teeth are not.
What to do if, while you are minding your won business on an African Jungle Safari, Rex bursts into the clearing and heads straight towards you:
DO NOT mock the arms. DO NOT run. The best mode of action here would be for you to stand perfectly still and silent, while an agile member of your troupe climbs a tree behind Rex, launches him/herself onto Rex's back (don't panic, its not like he's going to be able to reach over and take them off), and uses a handy piece of sturdy cloth (a safari vest seems a good option here) to blindfold Rex. Since Rex is incapable of hunting if he cannot see, this will effectively render him incapacitated, leaving you and your friends free to point and giggle to your heart's desire. And then run. And whatever you do, never attempt to escape from Rex by taking refuge in a toilet. That will only end in tears. And pieces.
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